James Zeppler had just hit a magnificent par 5 eagle on the 13th hole of Tall Pines Golf Club in the small town of Sandusky, Ohio when his golfing partner and longtime business rival, Charles O'Handley, shot him in the head with the 12 gauge shotgun he had been stowing in his bag. The green, which had been finely trimmed and quite pristine just a few seconds prior, was suddenly ruined just as Mr. Zeppler's climactic life was ended in quite a large decrescendo.

Now while the demise of the green was certainly something to be mourned, and while the questions behind why Mr. O'Handley didn't get prosecuted for property damage go unanswered, these controversial issues just aren't the focus of this story.

James Zeppler was born into a poverty stricken town in northern Kentucky. His mother, a crack whore, sold young James to a Michigan based fisherman named Heinz Laughler, who's main port was in Lake Superior. The fisherman raised James like he was his own son and taught him the ways of the hook and sinker. When James turned 18, Mr. Laughler bought his adopted son a boat, which he named The Zepplin. The two made quite a name for themselves among the fishermen of the lake as the years went on, and eventually established a very successful fishing business with about two dozen ships.

In 1999, Mr. Laughler died tragically when a Wide Mouth Bass jumped out of the water and stole his favorite hat, causing him to jump into the water after it, never to return again. Mr. Zeppler was left to manage the business. However, he soon ran into quite a bit of competition from other local fishing companies. Things got heated in September of 2003 when a ship from Mr. Fish Co., which was headed by Charles O'Handley and was Zeppler Co.'s biggest rival, sunk one of Zeppler's 23 foot Grady White fishing boats with a hand launched, remote operated, tacticle torpedo. Mr. Zeppler, unexperienced with such devastatingly violent tactics, was left fearing for his life. Lacking enough evidence to bring legal action against Mr. Fish Co, He decided to run away to Ohio for a month, where he learned how to play golf.

Charley O'Handley didn't appreciate some previously unknown fishing company moving in on his business, and he wasn't about to just stand idly by while Mr. Zeppler gained an edge. As it turned out, he had called up his cousin Vinny a few months prior and asked for advice. Incidentally, although claiming to most of his extended family that he was a legitimate business man, Vinny was actually a made mafia hitman working out of Chicago. Mr. O'Handley had absolutely no idea of this, and assumed he was receiving some sound business advice from another respectable business man.

When Mr. Zeppler returned from his trip, on which he became a fairly proficient golfer due to his training with world pro, Sergio Garcia, he initiated new aggressive business strategys to match Mr. O'Handley's devastating tactics. He sent some of his scalliwag crew over to the local piers and had them pay "fishing spot protection money." This plan was enormously successful and his profits skyrocketed. Some of Mr. O'Handley's best 25 foot Boston Whaler's were sunk in a mysterious "accident" in the middle of the lake. While, Mr. Zeppler is rumored to be responsible for their demise, his company spokesman refused to comment on the matter.

It was around this time, the point where Mr. Zeppler truly seemed to be getting an edge in the Lake Superior fishing business, that Mr. O'Handley invited him to settle their differences peacefully over a game of golf at his private course in Sandusky, Ohio. The stipulations were to be that if Mr. Zeppler won, Mr. Fish Co. would be taken under the wing of Mr. Zeppler's company and vice versa if Mr. O'Handley won. However, this clearly wasn't the case, and Mr. Zeppler's life was ended tragically early at the ripe age of 29. His lifeless body, and his ship, were sunk in the middle of Lake Superior, and are now, like his mentor, swimming with the fishes.

On a side note, Mr. O'Handley's greens keeper was not happy with the situation at all, seeing as a red green is pretty much an oxymoron. So, he poisoned Mr. O'Handley at the banquet celebrating Mr. Fish's merger with Mr. Zeppler's former company. So is the sick world of fishing... and golf.